Mid Year Bowl of Stoopid Award and Dumb Stuff

June 20, 2011

Today was just another summer stoopid rally. A stoopid rally, (I know I spell stupid wrong so leave me alone), is one where the market goes up on no volume for no reason. Often the day is filled with violent 30 seconds short squeezes where the Tony Dow Jokes goes up 75 points then hovers in mid air like a wet snot hanging on a railing in the middle of winter. That is what I would call a stoopid rally.

Usually some positive event, like a country defaulting on its debt, impending global financial contagion, world war, or multiple earnings warnings gets everyone excited about the possibility of more government rigging of our numbers and symbols.

I would like to thank the trader who determines what our future 201k balances will be and his furious work to discover price for us. His Random Walk is awesome. It’s hard work. His recommendation to be long rigging remains in place. I just talked to him and know a lot of people on the inside. They wouldn’t lie to me would they?

You get some Fourth of July clown shoes.

Next up and a little off topic, what in the world are the Cubs thinking? First the Billy Goat curse now the Crapvision curse. Maria Bartotonyromo from Crapvision throwing out the first pitch at a game last week just cost Cub fans another 100 years of pain. Anyone who writes a book called “Use the News” in the 2000 mania, then gets an award for pumping every reckless moral hazard move by our plutocrats, and throws out the first pitch at Wrigley just doomed this team to another 100 years of hell.

The Cubs management are morons. Get a load of the guys T shirt. Yeah, they win a lot of division titles. This dude gets it. He’s my idal.

I like the last paragraph in particular in Maria’s comments below. I threw pies (hurled or vomited) last night while watching her acceptance speech in front of a room full of dicks wearing English Leather. Maria is so incredibly proud of covering the ups and downs. Ups and downs? Proud? The stock market has turned into a rectal exam due to your channels incessant propaganda and pumping.

Still, the Cubs get the bowl of stoopid for letting her get near the sacred confines of Wrigley Field. Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Move over Billy Goat, the curse of Bartotonyromo just has commenced.I’ll be like 300 years old when they beat the Juno Moose in the 2400 World Series.

The Cable Show, the trade show for the National Cable Television Association, is underway this week in Chicago. And last night at the gala event of the week, the Cable Hall of Fame, CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo became the first female journalist inducted into the Hall. (CNN’s Bernard Shaw and trade publisher Paul Maxwell are also members.)

We talked with the Money Honey this morning between panels she’s moderating at the trade show. She’ll also be anchoring “Closing Bell” from Wrigley Field this afternoon, because tonight the Brooklyn native and Yankees fan is throwing out the first pitch as the Cubs take on the Milwaukee Brewers.

That was 20 years ago and now it’s been 19 years at CNBC covering the financial ups and downs. I feel incredibly proud — proud to be part of this industry.

Next up are the American people.

They are back and obsessed as ever. No, not with the stock market, I pads or smart phones.

Try the Casey Anthony trial. Fat overweight rhinos, tattoo wearing soccer moms and pierced lip 30 something squatters have assembled in Florida to smack the shit out of each other just to get a glimpse of boredom in the court room. The same Wall Mart Thanksgiving door busters have migrated south waiting in line for 24 hours to get a glimpse of what they can watch on TV. Wtf?

Why do I get the feeling that the people in this video all watch Jim Cramer and Mashed Money, American Idol, own 5 shares of Chit Pole, text their freinds in the front seat of the car when they are in the back seat of the same car, and own some rat shit cloud stock they heard about on Lost Money.

Casey Anthony Trial: Spectators Fight Outside Courthouse

Click on the red link above for the movie. Un frigging believable. If you X-rayed all of their skulls it would be filled with air.

Finally our mid year bowl of stoopid award goes out to every single pundit who thinks that the S&P earnings are going to be $ 105 dollars and the second half of the year will be strong.

Anytime you hear that cop out excuse by the mouth pieces on CNBS when volume screeches to a halt and we have stoopid rally days, the hairs in the back of your neck should stand up.

To all the Larry Pudlow, second half of the year blue sky free market capitalists, you win the 2011 mid year Bowl of Stoopid Award. When I watch the stock market now I keep thinking of the Darwin Awards. It’s gonna happen again. Everyone will be wiped out.

Hell, even Becky Biz Quick told Mohammed El Shish Ka Bob to quit saying kick the can down the road this morning. Everyone with an ounce of brains to share with the world knows the stock market is a scam and the system is broken. When Uncle Warrens squeeze sees it, look out.

The stock market, politicians, smartphones, mc mansion squatters, wall street, CNBS, and the main stream media suck a lot.


2 Responses to Mid Year Bowl of Stoopid Award and Dumb Stuff

  1. Robot Trader on June 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Man, I’m laughing so hard my sides hurt….

    Bravo, my man, Bravo!!!

  2. Ag's Nightmare on June 20, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    Thanks Mark. We live in a weird time.

    Loved that Casey Anthony bitch slap video. That is van down by the river gold.

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