The Worlds Largest Hedge Fund Manager

February 3, 2011

Ben Bernank. International Spoo jammer of mystery. Federal Reserve Chairman? Are you farking kidding me? This guy is a stock flipping psycho.

Move over Baldy Tepper and stick a log up your rear end for your Goodyear Tire pump tonight on Crapvision. How’s your Ford trade going you jackass. You suck. Move over baldy. You are over.

There is a new Norwood six in town, Ben Bernank just passed you by today with his announcement that he is the worlds first Global Hedge Fund Manager. That basically means he can knee cap nations and starve people for the sake of a rising NASCAR 100.

In order to hide his identity, Ben has put on a mask since he is now officially in the business of rigging the stock market. His Press the Meat appearance solidified his role as the globes only insider trader with power left inside the G Strap 20.

Check this crap out.

I can’t tell who he is can you? Is that Cramer? Tepper? Blankmind? All of them are bald so who the hell can tell? I am stumped. Who is that masked rigger?

The goods:

Ben has the printing presses. He has the control. He has the ability to rig a market at the blink of an eye. He has a soul that is emptier than an Iomega warehouse that stocks 1996 zip drives.

Remember this one? Helped kick off bubble number one with Netscape. You go Greenie.

But who are Ben’s clients? Ain’t you and me. We are the surfs. It’s the plutocrats.

They are all the major mafia families left standing and a couple of newly added primary dealers of the elite Global Hedge Fund Club. I heard Corzine got to skim some Acme Packet. Boo Yah!

Ben’s quivering voice today did state clearly he is rigging the stock market to create a false sense of recovery for the plutocrats who are pitching shares to you and me. The wealth transfer is firmly in place until Ben the Hedge Fund Manager decides when to pull the moral hazard plug. Whats left of this rat shit market is anyone’s guess. Hell if I know.

Maybe we can have a JPM vs. Goldman Sucks Thunderdome? Diamond vs. Blankmind would be like two neutered de-clawed cats bitch slapping each other with their paws to see who gets the million shares of Netflix. Both are the pussies. Neither would last a minute in a Chicago Public High School teaching business. They would be in full fetal position after taking attendance.

The most frustrating thing is the great unwashed or the under educated public has no clue how Ben Bernank’s moral hazard on steroids has created bubble number three. It’s a bubble folks. Don’t kid yourself.

On the other hand, Joe six pack is happy becasue his 401k is going up, but if he really knew what was happening to the dollars he spends, the hidden taxes, or why he gets raped when he goes grocery shopping or fills up his tank, the USA would pull an Egypt. People have no farking clue what is happening. None.

But in all fairness we suck and Ben knows it. We are pussified in his mind. We camp out to but gadgets. We stand in line so we can buy six packs of underwear for a dollar at Wall Fart. We buy crap in a drunken stupor during a heavy snow storm to pass the time.

We manufacture stupidity.

Too many people have an ear plug jammed their head so Ben knows he can screw you and me until some 16 year old kid at Jiffy Lube asks his boss why the state income tax went up to 10 %. Then he tells the kid in his shop class why and all hell breaks loose in automotive 101. Then, five American teens protest in front of a Subway that their prices are too high for a six inch Tuna on white. Then we go back to sleep.

Get it? No one knows how evil this guy is and he will milk it until we have our very own Revolution.

Ain’t no doubt in my mind the Master of the Universe, Hedge Fund Manager Ben, is setting us up for the third major collapse in stock prices within a couple of decades. He is silently taxing the crap out of every citizen in America. The dollar will crash if he keeps it up. He is rigging the markets then thinks he can say I will stop and nothing will happen.

This has gone on two M***t****king Years!

Today at the Press the Meat Club shin dig, Ben the Hedge Fund Manager stated could care less about the commodity inflation. Not my fault. Wow. What a dick.

Hey weird beard!

The Truth:

Bernank has been instrumental in creating massive inflation through serial printing of US dollars. The arrogance he emitted today and his lack of empathy for people in this world that are starving because of his policies is “evil”. Yes it is morbid. He is complicit.

Then today Ben outwardly said he is rigging the stock market. Many know this has been going on for some time but the majority of the great unwashed have no clue why we are in another bubble.

Apparently, Ben anointed himself the Global Hedge Fund Manager of the World today. You go you quivering sack of shit. Some balls you have when all you have to do is push a green button that controls the printing presses and the S&P Futures when no one can say jack shit about it or find out when your Presidents working group decides to puts the screws to shorts buying a crap load of road apples making a happy print on the TONY DOW for the weekend talk shows.

Seriously, how did this son of a bitch get this much power? Is he President?

Rising stock prices is his one of his goals. He spoke of how he was rigging the bond market as he exhibited his expertise in performing a Dick Button Triple Toe Loop Double Sow Cow.

He is shoveling money into the Primary Dealers coffers to speculate in rat shit companies that more than two thirds the population couldn’t afford to buy 100 shares of.

This is what the stock market has become. A one way rigged pile of shit.

As for the Bernank. You better hope your high octane moral hazard does not flame out. There is no way for you to “ease” out of this now. It is eternal. You must keep printing. You must protect your Global Hedge Fund Shareholders.

We will be showing Quantitative Evil numbers on the screens of Crapvsion as if it were Super Bowl event.

As for the rest of the world, Happy Revolutions to all and to all a good night. But it is not Ben’s fault. He said so and knows stuff. Have fun eating your plastic rice while Crapple hit’s 1000.

My opinion? If there was a definition for Ben Bernank the Global Hedge Fund Manager in the dictionary it would need only one word.


No wait. Two words.

Batshit Insane.


6 Responses to The Worlds Largest Hedge Fund Manager

  1. mrhanky on February 3, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    The Bernak does not seem to give a shit about the bond market,if he did rates would be alot lower.He wants everyone out of anything considered safe and into crapple and NFLX.

    Only when things get out of control the “them” will pile in to treasuries with their POMO cash and everything reverses.

    For now this is a freight train at full speed,and it’s flying off the tracks.Balls of steel needed to even consider a short position….it’s just insane.

  2. Ag's Nightmare on February 3, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    No….after watching him today…he is a soulless human being who cares nothing about you or me. He cares only about the banks that are member firms of the Federal Reserve.

    I found his spew frightening. He is as empty as a GAP store during a blizzard.

    I true;y think this man is evil.

  3. mrhanky on February 3, 2011 at 8:29 pm

    He must see something pretty bad in our future if he is staying on the gas for this long and this hard.This is gonna turn out to be the biggest and eventually the quickest crash ever.

    He’s nuts,but so is everyone else in any kind of power in this country.If he goes,another nut is not far behind.

    • Ag's Nightmare on February 3, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      Hanky, he can’t stop what he is doing. He basically said so today.

      He is a psychotic gambler that has gone all in until there is no more all in.

      I think the man is certifiably insane.

  4. checkthisout on February 3, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    Best blog in a while.

    I love how Greedscam came out and admitted he screwed up on the 2000 bubble and how his policies helped enable the housing bubble. It only took him 10 FRIGGIN YEARS to admit it. And he wonders why after all that went down the last couple years the banksters aren’t in handcuffs. Listen A-hole, you were just as bad with your lies at the time. Benny is reading from YOUR PLAYBOOK!

    I hope Ron Paul kills raising the debt limit – that should shake things up a bit.

  5. Ag's Nightmare on February 3, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    Check, the debt limit is going higher. As long as Bernank is in the pilots seat moral hazard rules.

    Our country is third world now.

    Ron Paul will end up locked in the janitors closet during the next Humphrey Hawkins meeting.

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